Maturity vs. Perversity

I blogged at Punishment Book today. (NOTE: The address is now www.punishmentbook.net.) Here is the beginning:

Maturity vs. Perversity

He spanks me. Not every day — we have a little one in the house. Spanking, these days, is infrenquent enough that I sometimes lose sight of what it feels like to be over his lap and somewhat helpless. I never completely forget, but I temporarily forget, distracted by the complex details of everyday living. It’s not that he doesn’t want to spank me, or that he’s disenchanted with me, but we have a little girl in the house. She observant, smarter than a whip, and asks questions. She asks a lot of questions. By the time the blossoming interrogator is asleep, both of us are usually too tired for a proper spanking and indulge in the wicked delight of cuddling naked, stroking bare skin, and pretending to be vanilla.

So we drift.

There are punishments. Not often, and usually not serious. I am a good girl. Chris has said that I’m too good, at times. The mistakes are few enough, the circumstances of life trying enough, and he knows I sincerely regret them enough, that he struggles to punish me for them. Ten o’clock at night is a difficult time to start an emotionally and physically difficult experience. Also, I’m really good at distracting him. My mouth can do positively magical things when it comes to distracting him.

Do try to pull your mind from the gutter — mostly frequently, I distract him with conversation or chores.

So we drift.

Not badly. Many of the changes, I suspect, come with maturity and an appreciation of the good parts of our lives. Our relationship is unquestionably important to both of us. We take time and care with it and I’m a little obsessive about every word and expression that comes out of him when we are together. (Indeed, sometimes I overanalyze. Just a bit, really.)  He does many nice things for him while I usually depend on the usual methods of organizing the household and providing oral sex to let him know he’s important.

(I got your attention that time, didn’t I? Hah!)

Read the rest of the entry here.

I Am An Extremist

April 16, 2013. The day after bombings of the Boston Marathon. The day when photos and videos of tragic horror are replaced by pundits and preachers.

It’s also the 50th anniversary of one of the most important letters written in the 20th century, dated April 16, 1963, a letter that bears remembering today for history’s sake, and for the sake of organized resistance to injustice, but especially today for the poignant meditations.

There is much said and much written about the impact of words and behavior of people in the 1960s, whether secular or religious or a blend of the two. The voices who spoke in those days still speak today, some literally but others only through the memory of their words. But today, while people on television and here on the Internet rant and crow about the evils of extremism, I want to pull out this one long paragraph from a formative letter on social change that should be a part of all of our consciousness, and should be brought back to national attention every time we are tempted to label the outspoken as extreme.

Extreme is not an affliction or a fault. Faith and religion — whether the same or different or non-traditional or foreign, progressive Christian, evangelical Christian, Muslim, atheism, paganism, agnosticism, Judaism, Catholicism, Taoism, Buddhism, Hinduism, or any other way of ordering the world — are not afflictions or faults. It is the expression and implementation of Oppression, Violence, and Apathy that are worse than afflictions. They are the insidious threads that divide societies and cause civilizations to fall.

So, a portion of a letter, from an extremist:

Oppressed people cannot remain oppressed forever. The yearning for freedom eventually manifests itself, and that is what has happened to the American Negro. Something within has reminded him of his birthright of freedom, and something without has reminded him that it can be gained. Consciously or unconsciously, he has been caught up by the Zeitgeist, and with his black brothers of Africa and his brown and yellow brothers of Asia, South America and the Caribbean, the United States Negro is moving with a sense of great urgency toward the promised land of racial justice. If one recognizes this vital urge that has engulfed the Negro community, one should readily understand why public demonstrations are taking place. The Negro has many pent up resentments and latent frustrations, and he must release them. So let him march; let him make prayer pilgrimages to the city hall; let him go on freedom rides -and try to understand why he must do so.

If his repressed emotions are not released in nonviolent ways, they will seek expression through violence; this is not a threat but a fact of history. So I have not said to my people: “Get rid of your discontent.” Rather, I have tried to say that this normal and healthy discontent can be channeled into the creative outlet of nonviolent direct action. And now this approach is being termed extremist.

But though I was initially disappointed at being categorized as an extremist, as I continued to think about the matter I gradually gained a measure of satisfaction from the label. Was not Jesus an extremist for love: “Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.” Was not Amos an extremist for justice: “Let justice roll down like waters and righteousness like an ever flowing stream.” Was not Paul an extremist for the Christian gospel: “I bear in my body the marks of the Lord Jesus.” Was not Martin Luther an extremist: “Here I stand; I cannot do otherwise, so help me God.” And John Bunyan: “I will stay in jail to the end of my days before I make a butchery of my conscience.” And Abraham Lincoln: “This nation cannot survive half slave and half free.” And Thomas Jefferson: “We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal . . .”

So the question is not whether we will be extremists, but what kind of extremists we will be. Will we be extremists for hate or for love? Will we be extremists for the preservation of injustice or for the extension of justice? In that dramatic scene on Calvary’s hill three men were crucified. We must never forget that all three were crucified for the same crime–the crime of extremism. Two were extremists for immorality, and thus fell below their environment. The other, Jesus Christ, was an extremist for love, truth and goodness, and thereby rose above his environment. Perhaps the South, the nation and the world are in dire need of creative extremists.

- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. in “Letter From Birmingham City Jail”

[Emphases and breaks added.] Do you want to hear more about this letter? The Birmingham Public Library is hosting a worldwide ‘celebration’ of this letter that was planned far in advance of yesterday or today.

Alone

I went out by myself yesterday. I do not do this often, at least beyond the local grocery stores and the post office. I hadn’t noticed, really, that it had been so long. When did my life become so circumscribed by a five mile circumference? I didn’t notice, not until I was in Target, alone.

It felt ridiculously liberating.

Please don’t misunderstand me. I am not prevented from going out alone, or even discouraged from it. I simply … don’t. Perhaps it is a manifestation of my discomfort with driving coupled by our home — where I can’t step out the door and walk somewhere. Perhaps it is a manifestation of the sanctuary our home has become and what it represents. Perhaps it is a manifestation of how little free time I have that is not consumed by the 9-year-old and her schedule of swim team, martial arts, band, and school. I rather suspect it is all three.

So, there I was, alone in Target. I didn’t panic, but I did reel. I felt at sea, out of sync with the people around me in their family groups. Mine was at home, either ill or tending to the ill. I was buying Mucinex. I was buying dental floss. I was panicking over buying the wrong kind of dental floss.

I remember the days before cell phones. I didn’t have such a thing until I was in graduate school and didn’t feel attached to one until I was in California, when Chris one, gave it to me and told that I would be carrying it and answering it. I remember spending entire days away from my dad, going out on dates without worrying about what was happening at home, about doing the grocery shopping with my mom and buying what we thought we needed without running to the payphone to ask someone at home to check the contents of the pantry.

I can do this, I thought.

I texted Chris and asked about the damn dental floss.

Don’t get me wrong. I probably would have picked the right one. But we usually do such tasks together and I’ve forgotten which one to buy, when I’m alone, since they don’t sell it at the grocery.

When I texted Chris, it wasn’t about the dental floss, was it? I was looking for a comforting pat on the head — a silent You’ll be fine

He answered, life went on, and I went to Costco.

Alone, for the first time ever. I think I did pretty well with that.

Elle and The Long-Awaited Book (The Outcast Earl)

A very good writing companion, Elle Q. Sabine, is about to join the e-publishing world with a bang  tomorrow. Her first full-length novel – The Outcast Earl – will hit the virtual shelves on Monday, December 10. The book is already available for pre-sale, is tentatively looking at a print release date in the spring, and is set to be followed by a second book in April 2013. Elle tells me the third book is under construction in her dropbox account now.

I begged for a sneak preview, especially once she gave me a too-brief synopsis of the third tale, but the girl told me I’d have to wait, like everyone else. Bah humbug! Isn’t this the time of year when we’re supposed to have Christmas spirit?

Anyway, I love The Outcast Earl. The earl, of course, is somewhat too arrogant. His bride, Abigail, has no experience with relationships or male authority figures.

Elle chose the excerpt below, and I think it is particularly suited to my wonderful readers. What could be better? The threat of a spanking.
About The Outcast Earl:
Abigail de Rothesay is to be married to a man known for his bad manners and foul humour. Resigned to her fate, she is fully capable of managing a gentleman’s home. Warwickshire will be lonely compared to London, but she can cope. After all, her mother and father are rarely seen together, even at meals. How much time does one have to spend with a spouse, anyway?Charles, Earl of Meriden, has every intention of clinging to the side of his pretty, young bride. Drawn to her flirtatious mannerisms and her attractive person, he insists on Abigail’s time and attention, much as his mother was devoted to his father. Even more, he actively looks after Abigail, a state of affairs that has Abigail at a loss.Even as they fight to come to an understanding about marriage both of them can accept, the couple will have to cope with the difficult consequences of their loved ones’ actions, and it may very well tear them apart.[Reader Advisory: This book contains scenes of male masturbation, erotic spanking, sexually charged disciplinary spanking, steamy oral sex, light bondage and offensive stubborn male possessiveness. There are also references to anal play and famous French paintings containing partially clothed women.]
Excerpt from The Outcast Earl by Elle Q. Sabine: (used with permission)

 “You can’t take me in there.” She shook her head frantically. “Those are your rooms!”

 “I know very well whose rooms they are,” he answered, kicking the door beside them open and shutting it firmly behind them with his heel. Without ceremony, he carried her over to the sofa in a small room that apparently served as a sitting room, and deposited her on the dark green velvet cushions before returning to the door and snibbing the lock, pointedly pocketing the key in his coat. “And in reply to your earlier comment,” he continued as fiercely as she had done, “you may not be subject to the whims of a governess, but you are damn well subject to my whims. And I will not accept blatant subversion of doctor’s orders and my directives because they do not suit you. Do you understand me?”

Abigail met his glare unflinchingly, but she stilled. Was he reacting to some perceived threat to her health, or was he one of those men who always had to be in control of their surroundings? Was his fury violent, or was he overtired from not sleeping?

“I think,” she said, gathering every ounce of composure and reasonableness she possessed to put into the words, “that we have much to discuss before I would agree that I am subject to you at all, though I will certainly acknowledge it is one possibility. For the moment, I am still my father’s daughter and Aunt Betsy is both my chaperone and now my responsibility. I am the reason she is here, and if I cannot change the past and somehow prevent the accident or her injury, I can for certain nurse her back to health.”

Meriden shook his head, responding in kind to her calm. “No. If anyone is at fault, it is I. I allowed you to travel in your father’s carriage all this way, without considering that it would be in as poor a condition as the rest of his property. I should have arranged for you to use my own travelling coach. I hope that you will accept my apology for not considering the means by which he might convey you north, even for not escorting you myself. Indeed, I would hope that you accept my apology for not caring for you as I ought. It might seem a poor start, but I would ask for your consideration under the circumstances. As it happens, you are not only my first wife, you are also the first lady for whose welfare I am wholly responsible.”

Abigail blinked, her world tilting a bit. She had, of course, known her father could be criticised, but Winchester had never once apologised to her or her sisters—not even for the current debacle. She was equally convinced Winchester had never once apologised to her mother for anything. And yet this man all the women of London called a brooding monster did so unflinchingly, over a matter that was not completely within his purview.

“It was my father’s responsibility,” she said after a long moment. “Not yours. No apology is necessary.”

“Nevertheless, I will take better care in the future,” he murmured, still staring at her. “Because you are mine and in my care now, regardless of the formalities yet to be observed.”

Abigail drew a deep breath, trying to calm her inner nerves and save herself from whirling headfirst into a re-examination of what she had previously known to be true. “Fiddlesticks!” she eventually objected, frowning him down as he approached at her words. Challenging him to an argument over this notion of ownership did seem the best way to reinforce her earlier impression of selfish arrogance. She allowed her eyes to briefly graze over the scar along his jawbone as she reminded herself that they were essentially adversaries. “You can’t seriously expect me to believe that I am somehow chattel to be ordered about callously according to your moods and tempers, simply because we are expected to marry? If you believe such nonsense, I’m afraid you’ve picked the wrong female and should perhaps reconsider this ridiculous plan before it’s too late.”

“I expect you are sensible enough to follow directions that are given for your own wellbeing, as we will marry,” he countered very carefully, sitting down as close to her as he could manage—so close that his breath raced across her cheek. “And I have not picked the wrong bride. To my mind, I couldn’t have found a more perfect one.”

Abigail turned her head to scoff, but he simply leaned closer and murmured in her ear, the warmth of his breath sliding over her neck and down her jaw, tempting her to shiver. “In any event, there is no going backward, even if I were not determined to have you permanently at my side. You’re here, alone with me, in my house. Your aunt is present, but she is insensible and cannot be thought of as a proper chaperone in the minds of the interfering biddies who dictate your public behaviour. Meanwhile, you are in my own private sitting room, gowned in nothing more than a nightdress, dressing gown and house slippers. In addition, you will likely be here for quite a while, alone with me, as you have already proven conclusively that you did not learn the skill of obedience during childhood.”

Suddenly short of breath, Abigail sat very still, but when Meriden leaned in to kiss her, she couldn’t help her instinctive response to flee.

She leapt to her feet and backed to the fire, rubbing her hands together uselessly in the warm room.

 “What did I just finish telling you?” Meriden barked, reaching for her and grabbing her wrist before she could flit farther away. “If you try to walk on that ankle again tonight, I swear I’m going to turn you over my knee and paddle you for behaving like a silly child.” He grabbed her by the waist and lifted her, setting her squarely on his knees, locking one arm around her to hold her there.

“You wouldn’t!” Abigail gasped, unable to think of anything more profound on such short notice, and trying desperately to squelch the traitorous part of her gut that seemed to respond more dramatically every time he touched her. She didn’t know what she was feeling, but now was not the time or place to work it out.

Instead, she lifted her hand to push him away but he simply growled, “It’s either that, or this—” Then he slid his free hand around to the back of her head, and set his lips to hers.

Abigail had been kissed before, of course. She was twenty-one and had spent more than three full years in London society. While not the Winchester sister to inspire lust from the masses, she was certainly eligible, and had attracted her fair share of more serious, reserved men who were not attracted to the glamorous Gloria or the voluptuous, young Genevieve. Kissing, she had advised her younger siblings, was an art. Some men had practised, did it well, considered little things like how they tasted and whether their partner could still breathe. Other men had no skill at all, and no interest in acquiring any. They pushed, suffocated, forced and followed it up with self-important pride. It had not taken Abigail more than a few brief experiences to decide that any man in the second group could be gently eased in the direction of some more desperate girl. Abigail had no interest in a man who used kissing as a means to press more invasive intimacies on the female. Men who were patently disinterested in pleasing a partner with something as simple as a kiss could not be expected to do so in any more important pursuit, and were therefore not worth considering.

 Abigail was fairly certain Gloria had deliberately ignored Abigail’s opinion on the subject.

With such a preconceived opinion, Abigail tensed as Meriden touched his mouth to hers. Should he turn out so early on to be an insensitive clod, Abigail knew she would have difficulty with following through on the engagement, no matter the consequences. She’d have preferred to ease into such intimacy after she had learnt whether to guard against him or not. Nevertheless, she stilled and tried to take in the sensation of his lips rubbing over hers.

He was not gentle, precisely, but neither did he plunder selfishly. No, his mouth worshiped her lower lip, then the upper one, learning the shape and size of her mouth before he eased his tongue just inside her lower lip to taste her.

Meriden was definitely not one of the untrained, inconsiderate brutes. She closed her eyes, softened against the arm that surrounded her waist and leaned closer, her lips tingling in a rush of sensation where his tongue stroked hers.

He caught her fingers with his free hand, where she had pushed futilely against his chest. Trapping her hand in place, he murmured, their lips still touching, “I would, you know.”

Abigail breathed a soft sigh. “Would what?” she asked, a bit wobbly from the unexpected rush of warmth that had ripped up her spine with the kiss. She’d forgotten what he had said.

“I would spank you. Paddle you, if I had to,” Meriden repeated in a husky whisper against her mouth. He ran his hand up from her waist to tangle it in the hair at the back of her head, and instead of the indignant reaction Abigail felt was required, she leaned in closer, shivering when Meriden used his lips to examine the corners of her mouth in an exquisite intimacy.

oOo

Elle has her own blog and her own Twitter account. She can be found at http://elleqsabine.wordpress.com or on Twitter at @elleqsabine. Visit her to find more about her writing, free serial fiction, and more (free!) background material from The Misbegotten Misses, the stories of Abigail and her sisters. I understand she’s going to be doing a free giveaway of The Outcast Earl on its release date (December 10, 2012). But don’t wait!

Readers can pre-order The Outcast Earl from Total-e-bound directly, or visit their favourite e-retailer on December 10. Elle will be posting direct links as they become available. Total-e-bound also provides the opening few paragraphs of the story, so if you want to see how the book begins, click the link to enjoy it.

Other Links (I’ll update on the 10th too!):

Don’t Faint

One might think that the title of this post references the months-long time between my previous entry and this one. If you think that, you might be right. Or wrong.

A few days ago I had a virginal experience. I popped a cherry.

Stop laughing!

Holiday gone wrong on board the Endeavor (2003)

In other words, I had the opportunity and experience of playing with an entry in the arsenal of kink that I have never before been able to properly appreciate: a cat ‘o nine tails.

Now then, hold off on the flinching and hear me out. We’ve all read horror stories of these whips, used by naval officers on recalcitrant sailors and by prison administrators on runaway or troublesome inmates. When I even hear the phrase ‘cat o’ nine tails‘, I immediately remember scenes described in excruciatingly painful detail at Port Arthur in Tasmania or in books like Uncle Tom’s Cabin and Tom Sawyer. I recall the true stories of American history, where we flogged women for adultery and practicing witchcraft, though they were truly raped or unfortunately born with red hair and freckles in rural Massachusetts. I see the scenes of slaves flogged in North and South, which I watched as a too-young, impressionable girl, or the excruciatingly violent depictions in Mel Gibson’s The Passion of the Christ. Indeed, any Google image search for the word “flogging” or “cat o’ nine tails” will provide thousands of examples of how power corrupts even those with the best of intentions.

I did not envision a sex toy. Or a CP (not quite spanking) toy. At least, I did not envision one I would walk away from craving more.

Thankfully, however, a certain gentleman followed me into a room on Sunday to show (Chris and) me a leather indulgence I would not have sought out as a sensual toy on my own. Let this serve as a very public thank you to Mr. Allen (@hellomrallen).

The Wildcat by Victor Tella

Called The Wildcat, it is a 16-plait leather cat o’ nine tails, handmade to order by leather craftsman Victor Tella. As it was late and we had done little to no preparation prior to this particular fifteen-minute interval, we took no photos but this catalog shot from Victor Tella’s website is share-able on social media.

Now, I’m absolutely sure that this luxurious leather could be wielded in a way to make it dramatically painful, but it was not. I did not bare my bottom for it, but only my back. When he was finished wielding it, I stayed in the chair, wishing I could figure out how to ask for more. And then more after that. If I could have untied my tongue, I might have even been quite shameless about it.

It’s too damn bad that the Salem witches were not treated to this delight in the name of punishment. I’d be thrilled to role play that with this whip.

Before we even left the room, Chris had rightly concluded that this lovely piece of art has been added to my mental wish list of things we really ought to have, instead of wooden things I’d rather never see again. (Dearest, wouldn’t pattern A in purple and green be lovely?) I’d even watch him practice, or offer my bare skin up for practice.

Does that mean I’m a leather slut, or a flogger slut, or both?

Hello Goodbye

It’s the way of the world. I come, I go.
In May & June my world narrows.
I will be back someday,
My heart could not stay away,
and look for me a few minutes a day.
My family is well, my lover tender.
My daughter precocious, my friends delicious. 
So as the Irish say…
May love and laughter light your days,
and warm your heart and home.
May good and faithful friends be yours,
wherever you may roam.
May peace and plenty bless your world
with joy that long endures.
May all life’s passing seasons
bring the best to you and yours!

While I Wait

This one is all about me. Just me.

I’m waiting for the princess to fall asleep. She doesn’t do it well alone and her tired little face of sadness breaks my heart every time.

I could be catching up on the twitter timeline, enjoying myself but instead I am sitting here contemplating.

Life, maybe, or at least my place in the world.

I walked away from a world a few hours ago that I really need and derive soul from being in – that is a community of like minds, friends and acquaintances and some others I stare at with slack-jawed awe. I walked away because I have another world that needs and supports me and it is becoming increasingly clear that they need me (or someone like me) on a more focused track. Spring is always my busy time of year and summer a close second… Yes, those who follow me regularly know I disappear in May and June.

And I resent it, which is why I’m using these precious few minutes to ponder my psyche instead of throwing myself into the deep glory of giggling girlhood. I resent that I’m the one who is expected to pick up the ball and carry it further than last year or the year before that, with no more support than a hearty “Good job!” and less of a budget. But more significantly I resent it because of the personal price. I walk away from relationship, from friends, from physical intimacy, from active mothering, from the stability of my marriage and I abandon responsibility in favor of doing something that doesn’t benefit the people I love except through a paycheck that’s not really large enough to qualify as my share of supporting our family. It definitely benefits my employer, their public persona, even the world in a larger sense… But none of those people are really invested in me or honestly concerned about the impact their expectations have on me or my health or my state of mind.

I do a job that needs done in a time critical fashion and if I do it well, the only people who really know how difficult it is are the colleagues I’ve pushed aside or in front of me to make my work possible. If I fail, it will be spectacular and I won’t be doing it again. Failure, as a wise Texan or Ron Howard once said, is not an option, either personally or professionally.

So here I am, pushing publish at 9:40 pm and going back to my office. I’m looking forward to a hug from Chris and a pat in he bottom and a bit of time tomorrow doing errands, though my head will hurt with the list of things I’m not doing by the time I get back to my desk.

I have work to do.

When In Rome

drawing of silphium stalk

Ancient silver coin from Cyrene depicting a stalk of Silphium

Over the years, I’ve read various books and theories on herbal birth control and contraceptives that might have been used to prevent embryonic implantation or as old-fashioned ‘morning after pills’ in the years prior to modern hormonal birth control options.

There have been novels where the characters have tried a variety of folklore options: high doses of vitamin C or even citrus suppositories (lemon wedges appropriately wedged!), pennyroyal remedies and tea infusions (though this is more technically an abortifacient in actual practice and not birth control), sheeps-gut condoms tied with tourniquet-style strings, wild carrot seed, rutin, etc.

These options were not full proof, despite literary claims to the contrary.

Silphium seed / fruit

Ancient silver coin from Cyrene depicting the fruit & seed of silphium

Today, however, in a random web search about something else, I saw this article about an apparently extinct Mediterranean fennel plant with the English name laserwort (despite the fact that it has never actually existed during the era in which English has been spoken). More creditably called silphium by contemporaries, it was highly regarded for its contraceptive properties.

It allowed people to freely express their love for each other.

In the end, whatever the reason, the plant ceased to exist, and we are left with only drawings and this infamous symbol of love. Long may you remember it is associated not with that organ in your chest, but with a woman’s freedom to express her affection and sexuality.

 

The Tale of Tears

A very long time ago, in the middle of a grief-stricken moment, my mother accused me of being stoic.

As I usually did, I went to my bedroom and cried, where she could not see. In those days I also mastered the art of crying in the shower, outside behind the barn, in the car . . . anywhere so that my family could not see. On the day my dad moved out and told my mom he wanted a divorce, I cried all the way through my SAT test but was dry-eyed at home. How odd that I thought it less invasive for my entire class to see me cry, but not to let my mom and brother?

Years passed, really, before anyone saw me cry. My college roommate did once or twice, more from pure frustration and in moments of great despair, but even then I would run to the bathroom showers and drown my sorrows with hot water.

But then, there was this moment on the phone with Chris – before we even met – when I curled up on the bed in my graduate school apartment and sobbed. I know the reason, but it is not germane to the reality. That was the first time in years that I wanted to be held when I cried. Each time it was a little easier – whether it was leaving him at an airport gate, or the beginnings of a resolution when we disagreed or disappointed each other, or the loss of a long-held dream.

Now, more often than not, my inclination is to find his chest or shoulder before the tears start to flow, before emotion sets in. It’s not always possible. Distress, despair and loss still cause tears when I am alone. Pregnancy wrought an endless flow of them for six full months. Anger, as rare as it is, still pushes me to privacy; hiding in the bathroom crying is a sure sign that I am truly upset with him about something. But most often, my emotional pain is held within until he has the time and opportunity to wrap me in his arms and let me be a little girl, rocked back and forth and held tightly.

Tonight, I think the tears will flow against his chest. They tell him a story in words I am incapable of speaking. They tell him a story that is painful to write.

They tell him about me.

 

Anthology: My First Spanking

My First Spanking by Cassandra Park

[Update on March 20:  To purchase this book from Amazon, click here.]

I recently wrote a short story. Well, recently I’ve written a lot, but that’s beside the point. What I mean is, I’ve written a short story called Turning Tramp and it is included in this anthology, edited by Cassandra Park and published by Ravenous Romance.

You can read more about the anthology on Cassandra Park‘s blog “Spanking Anthology Now Available”.

Other authors (other than Ms. Park and I, of course) include Erica Scott, Clarice Clique, Jeanette Grey, Jacqueline Brocker and more.

A brief excerpt from Turning Tramp:

At the moment, however, Helen was trembling with indignant disgust. “You’ll never believe what that man – I suppose you saw him in the corridor – just suggested to me. Outrageous!”

Susanna settled Helen into the chair and efficiently applied a base coat. “What’s that?” she murmured, vacillating between silver or emerald green for the primary color that evening. Helen pointed at the lavender and Susanna shrugged, acquiescing. As rundown and appalling as this place was in its brassy, shameless fashion, the women had been good to her.

“He wanted to spank me. Can you believe it? Said he’d pay me, too. The nerve. I mean, I get propositioned all the time. I’m a stripper. I expect this. But spanked? I won’t sell my body for feel-good sex, let alone something perverted. I told him to shove his hand up his ass and then find a goddamned BDSM club. There is one in this godforsaken city, or there used to be.”

Susanna had a sudden, unintended thought. She bit her lip and concentrated on applying shaded layers of lavender, purple and silver paint, swirling it to give Helen a mysterious mask that would last the entire evening. She’d seen him, with his relatively skinny frame and thick glasses, in the corridor. He’d been shorter than her and gray-headed, wearing an old-fashioned dress shirt with a plain red tie and dull gray pants. Even more interesting, she’d seen him the last several times she’d been at the club, always sitting alone at a table for two along the edge, drinking seltzer water and watching the girls.

A watcher, they all called him. He didn’t drink, he didn’t grope, he didn’t stuff money down Andrea’s bra when she paraded through the club floor to her cage. He didn’t proposition the waitresses.

He watched. They all said the word as if that were somehow more insidious and dangerous than actually accosting them, or groping them without an invitation. They all said it as if that was dangerous, as if all the other men and women who frequented the place didn’t do the same.

Susanna didn’t understand their instinctive distrust at all.

The book is available in e-reader format from Ravenous Romance for $4.99. Buy it.

What Would Your Top Do?

Suppose.

Suppose you were on your knees, your mouth hungrily sucking him, your tongue licking him, making his length hard and stiff and proud between your lips and under your hands. Suppose his head is thrown back, his fingers are clenching your scalp in a rhythm that matches the movement of your jaw.

Suppose.

Now, suppose you – without warning – pull from somewhere (beneath your pillow, beneath the bed, out of your pocket, etc) a hot dog bun and slide it around his wiener.

Does he:

a) deflate immediately, call you an unattractive and unkind name, and stomp away to lock himself in another room, possibly ending the relationship over your insubordination and disrespect

b) laugh at the funny joke you just made and then toss in the wastebin so you can get back to the business at hand

c) stare at you in shock for five seconds, fling it across the room, and fuck your mouth until your throat is sore and your jaw is numb

d)  let it fall to the floor, throw you over the end of something, and spank you until the tears leave pools of liquid beneath you

e) drop it to his feet, make you eat it, then spank  you until the tears leave pools of liquid beneath you, then fuck your mouth until your throat is sore and your jaw is numb

f) another combination?

I’m not sure what the F/F and F/M equivalent would be here, but I’d certainly enjoy that perspective as well.

And no, I have not done this. But someone made me think of it, and I’ve been pondering possible reactions ever since.

Something Good

One day there was a terrible, no good, very bad day. Very bad day. Let me repeat: very bad day.

Near the end of this no-good day, I drove more than usual, sat in fucking traffic more than usual, got home late, banged my knee hard. Had to clean the back seat of the car to hopefully remove the overpowering scent of apricot dragonfruit sweet Lifewater spilled during aforementioned traffic. I was perhaps a bit too dramatic with a small one who rarely gets in trouble and made a smelly, thoughtless mistake, and I felt guilty because I never want her to be in trouble – not even when she honestly should be.

You know what? It all sucked.

Read the rest of the entry at The Punishment Book here.  (Please comment there if you wish – it’s simply easier to follow one discussion.)